Pop songs have yucky views
Until 2019, I was pretty normy in the way I saw love and gender, and back then I could enjoy pop lyrics a lot more. Now they give me the major ick the whole time RIP.
I thought I'd ruin the joy of listening to them for you too, so here's a little series of me roasting different pop songs for their fucking weird views on gender and relationships.
Listen to them as I ruin them!
(sorry for using Spotify I hate that company too and plan to move away from it soon)
'What Makes you Beautiful' by One Direction
This is a classic. Jesus christ it's horrible!
I'll admit that I had a secret crush on Zayn when I was 12 and drew pictures of him in art lessons 'because he was the first person I thought of', but relistening to this song has almost put me off.
"Don't need makeup to cover up/ Bein' the way that you are is enough" But Sophie that's sweet! It's nice! No it's fucking weird. As people become less misogynistic here's how their views on women wearing makeup go: 1. Wear more makeup I think you look better with makeup 2. Wear less makeup I like you natural 3. Maybe I shouldn't be the one telling you how much makeup to use Let's get to stage 3 cuties!
"You don't know you're beautiful, that's what makes your beautiful" Ooooohhhh! Ouch! In other words "I find it sexy when girls have low self esteem". Also mixed in there is a little bit of "I am the objective judge of what beauty is, and I declare you beautiful".
"I don't know why you're being shy/ And turn away when I look into your eyes" Idk Zayn, maybe because she doesn't want you to stare her in the eyes while singing a creepy love song?
Overall conclusion: Classic bit of 2011. I loved it back then, but then again I also thought that Irish people liked English people.
'Candy' by Robbie Williams
I thought to start with that the song was a load of jibberish whacked together like an Oasis song, but turns out that's just what Robbie's opinions are.
The whole song is basically roasting a 'typical woman' that Robbie has 'seen around all over the world'.
"She was educated, but could not count to ten" Robbie thinks a lot of women are stupid, even though the charming clever professors did their best. Vintage stuff.
"Now she got lots of different horses , By lots of different men" Robbie thinks that women getting money from men is a bad thing. He also thinks Robin Hood is bad for stealing (that second part is a joke fact please don't sue me for defamation Robbie).
"Got no self esteem and vertigo" Robbie says: “she’s bipolar-esque”. Ooh nice a psychiatric diagnosis made by a random man used as an insult!
"'Cause she thinks she's made of candy" Robbie explains that this lyric means "if she was a chocolate she would eat herself". Another vintage 'women are stupid' take.
"Got a hurricane at the back of her throat" Robbie said: "I’ve got two ways of thinking about the hurricane line. She either swears like a sailor or does something else. Also involving seamen." Girls shouldn't swear and shouldn't be sluts! That's such good advice I wish I'd heard that earlier in my sinful immodest life!
"Liberate your sons and daughters / The bush is high, but in the hole, there's water" Robbie says: “I’m saying that you should look after your sons and daughters because the care you put in will be rewarded. But it’s hard – I just imagine somebody tretching (trekking?) through the jungle and then coming across a life-providing waterhole.” The parents in the song are a drug dealer and a drug addict. Robbie thoughtfully suggests that they should make more effort as parents. Apparently he has £354 million (article estimating his net worth). Maybe he should give some of that away instead?
This article helped a lot with writing this:
Article with Robbie explaining lyrics
Overall conclusion: I'm glad that I didn't understand the meaning of these lyrics as a child, otherwise I might have ended up sharing more of good old Robbie's opinions.
More songs coming soon:
- No Scrubs by TLC
- Baby It's Cold Outside
That's all for now! I'll keep on adding to this though so subscribe to my mailing list to hear when the next one is out.